As a kid, I lived knee deep in consequences. There were many but most resulted from defying the seemingly, menial orders-from-headquarters tasks that ran along a constant theme of being lazy around the house chores I loathed.
Need I list them?
Exactly. I travel in good company.
There was no ‘upside’ to complying, it pretty much sucked if I did the chores or didn’t. School felt similarly blah. My grades were average, and even when they were above average, I didn’t connect my ability, or lack of, with a sense of controlling my outcome. It felt more like a means to an end.
Not until I got involved in high school athletics could I emotionally and physically connect responsibility with the outcome of my actions. If I hit a jump shot at the buzzer, I would reel in glory for days and if I missed a gate and DQ’d in an important race, I sulked and moped.
Since my life did not resemble a basketball game nor ski race, responsibility and accountability eluded my internal compass. I didn’t blame others for my plight, rather excused myself from the responsibility of those outcomes.
That attitude moved right to college with me. As you might imagine, it was not the winning combination an aspiring college grad needed. If not for the academic probation I had to endure after my first semester freshman year, I might have coasted into mediocrity indefinitely. Since I associated ‘probation’ with criminals, I needed to get out of jail pronto!
Time to get my shit together.
Cracking down on the books is subjective, right? Not if you’re on probation! It meant mirroring things that the smarty pants did like visit the library, study, complete homework, attend class, pay attention in class, and regularly consult my student advisor.
All things I should have done from the beginning.
It meant discipline, focus, determination, accountability, and responsibility. It meant owning my outcomes and taking proactive steps toward improving them. It also meant fewer than the 16 credit hours I had saddled during the semester of my academic fiasco. Twelve credits became the magic number.
If you’re a math whiz, you quickly determined that path would not lead to graduation in the 4 years I hoped.
Third grade x 2 to the rescue!
No offense to 5th year seniors but sitting through third grade twice lit a fire under my academic ass enabling me to successfully manage back to back semesters @ 20 credit hours. Yep, that’s 40 credits in my senior year. The equivalent to 3.3 semesters at my previous pace.
I am a math whiz!
I got the shit done. I took responsibility and found accountability. If not for the consequence of my mediocre actions, I would not have found the value, gratitude and inspiration in taking responsibility for my poor results and changing course for better outcomes.
Those failures single-handedly empowered my path and solidified the ownership of my actions. They are 2 badges that I wear with pride. Despite both, I prevailed.
Profound lessons for my future self as I realized personal responsibility and accountability don’t abolish bad choices or poor outcomes, they simply remove blame and excuses from the equation. If I trip and fall, I spring back to my feet faster than I fell.
Today, my critical thinking skills are stronger than ever, and I methodically avoid negative consequential actions. If they result despite my proactive efforts, I take responsibility, reflect on where I could have done better, then press on full steam ahead.
I resemble that outcome and would rather swim like the Goldfish with a Shark’s swagger.
