Tall tales, Pinocchio’s nose and pants ablaze were the metaphorical lessons of my youth that pointed to liars. Learning the importance of truth and trust came only after years of living in the consequences of overlooking them.
Today, I see them as the two most compelling elements of integrity, mine and yours. From the most egregious to the most benign, say what you mean and mean what you say or move on.
Liars suck!
If I bump into the liar who lies through their example, I run in the opposite direction as fast as I can. Nothing unnerves me more than hypocrisy. The hypocrite doesn’t just speak the lie, they live the lie. Can you imagine how spiritually detrimental that is? Lying by example takes so much pre-meditated, methodical effort and energy.
Purely, dreadful.
I always say, the loudest homophobes are closeted gays. How better to hide behind your lie than to bash the shit out of it at every opportunity.
Liar, Liar if only your pants were actually on fire!
Where do we find the balance of trust over judgement and vulnerability over protection? If we need to earn these attributes, what is the cost? Are we guilty before proven innocent?
When I had my business in Chicago, highly sensitive information passed through our hands in advance of its destruction. The nature of our work required clean background checks, driving records and drug tests as mandatory industry pre-hire screenings.
A high level of trust among my employees and customers was critical to our reputation and success. During the new employee training, I explained to the newbies that they did not need to earn my trust.
Hmmm, smells like an oxymoron after jumping through all those hoops.
Think about what earning someone’s trust means… why do they need to earn it? Putting the mandatory pre-screenings aside, the human nature piece of the puzzle stood in a grey area presuming the newbies were not worthy of acceptance and trust despite the hoops through which they had just jumped.
Wasn’t that enough?
Somehow now they needed to prove themselves to me, to earn it, to display a shining example worthy of the win. What does that shining example even look like? Showing up on time? Wearing a clean uniform? Greeting me with a smile?
Trust – Worthy or Not?
The word Trustworthy has always bothered me. It implies so many things that defy trust like lying, cheating, stealing, or misrepresenting something material are someway disproven thereby validating one’s worthiness.
I put 100% faith in what someone says unless they prove me wrong.
No test to pass, only to potentially fail.
Do you presume a new fresh face a liar before they even share space with you? If someone needs to earn our trust that is exactly what we do. Are they paying for the consequences of those that came before them? Earning one’s trust implies they are not worthy until they prove themselves worthy.
Where is the finish line, the gold medal? How far out is the test? Does the test require a No. 2 pencil?
I had a simple solution that became my go forward philosophy.
I told the newbies that they didn’t need to earn my trust, they already had it and only stood to lose it. It worked for me and gave them the confidence to do their job without having to prove anything more to me.
How can we trust without being vulnerable and how can we be vulnerable without trust? They must walk hand in hand even at the risk of being hurt or burned. Offering 100% trust to someone or thing has risks that can expose us to lies and hypocrisy, but without it we risk the fulfillment of trust and vulnerability, and the gifts that accompany them.
My intuition serves me well and for me, 100% trust is a worthy risk.
