Destiny and Fate Are They Mutually Exclusive?

If you find a penny, do you pick it up and put it in your pocket or do you step over it?

After all, it’s only a penny.

In and through my life experiences, I have encountered many blurred lines between intuition vs synchronicity, and destiny vs fate. If you subscribe to the very basic principle of The Law of Attraction as I do, then like attracts like implying that energy we put forth is the energy we receive.

If you see the glass as half full, your cup shall run-ith over even if devoid of a drop. If there is always a hole in the bottom, then you will be parched and depleted.

solarseven / iStock / Getty Images Plus, Mykyta Dolmatov / iStock / Getty Images Plus

They say, we control our destiny through our choices, and some predetermined outside force dictates our fate, but if our choices and beliefs influence outside forces then isn’t our fate our destiny?

If you believe that no matter what you do, the shit will hit the fan, then prepare yourself for a massive smelly clean-up. Is that the outside force or a conscious or subconscious choice?

When we attract those forces is that our fate or our destiny?

If you earn a penny through hard work and dedication, that is your destiny. A penny resulted from those choices. If you find a penny in the street that is your fate because you made no effort to earn it or choice to find it.

If you step over it instead of putting it in your pocket (your choice/destiny) the penny will not jump in your pocket (your fate).

So, if our fate is the penny we step over it becomes our destiny once we choose not to put it in our pocket. Choice influences outside forces when we deflect the presence of fate and the efforts, or lack of, that put us in that very moment where fate presents itself.

white moon on hands
Photo by Gantas Vaičiulėnas on Pexels.com

I can’t see the future, but I innately believe that I pave its way.

If you believe something can’t be done, then you won’t venture in that direction. What if you continued and persisted? Is that your destiny or your fate? Does an outside force push you there or do you push yourself there?

If our destiny is a direction we fully control then why don’t we recognize our choices as something we can fully control? If we recognize them that way, then blame, lack of accountability and the inability to see the gain in the pain would not even be part of human behavior.

Deflecting our results away from our actions creates our destiny but may be disguised as our fate if we lack responsibility for the outcomes.

black and white cloudy sky over fence
Photo by Evin Öztep on Pexels.com

Admittedly, there is sooo much gray area here, but I like to push the envelope.

Is it someone’s fate if something irreversibly tragic or bad happens as if it were predestined? Even if it happens in the blink of an eye, the steps that proceeded it put them in that exact moment and place.

Why?

How do we rationalize senseless death as one’s predetermined fate?

I just can’t put my head around that.

Those that die senselessly in tragic accidents don’t knowingly walk the path to their death, they end up in the path of someone else’s destiny and that becomes their fate.

That just seems way f-ed up.

Senseless tragedy or death is senseless for a reason. There is no rationale, spiritual or other, that justifies the abruptness of the loss and the eternal agony that burdens those left behind in the tumultuous wake.

Are destiny and fate mutually exclusive or blurred and intertwined constantly influencing each other?

Next time you encounter a penny, put it in your pocket, after all, it is a penny.

Author: Kristina Kalapos

Kristina has thrived as an entrepreneur, writer, adjunct instructor, and ski instructor. Born in Zurich, Switzerland with strong ties to her Hungarian roots. Her first manuscript, a memoir, Sailing Naked is scheduled to launch in January 2026. She has shared her instinctive passion in business, the classroom and on the slopes. These endeavors were cultivated by the perseverance and resilience exhibited by her father and grandparents who traded their Hungarian heritage for freedom. After a year in Zurich, her American mother and Hungarian Freedom Fighting father relocated to the US. Stints on the east and west coasts, the birth of her brother, and move to the Midwest all preceded Kindergarten. Despite two school years as a third grader, a concerted effort enabled her to avoid the self-perceived stigma of college as a fifth-year senior, the motivating equivalent of two laps as a third grader. She graduated college with a BA in Communication Arts, in four years, with her friends. No more wallowing in the weeds. Facing failure and pulling up her bootstraps with an I-dare-you attitude, became her mantra. The lessons set in motion the day the Hungarians succumbed to the Soviet forces paved her future’s path. Their sacrifices preceded her arrival on the planet but contributed the grit and fortitude necessary to persevere through the tumult of life. After 27 years in Chicago, Kristina and her partner live in Michigan. Her spare time is consumed by family and friends who share the love of the water, sailing, skiing, and her 2 dogs Sailor and Oliver.

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